Theatre runs in my blood. For over the past decade, I’ve written about theatre, I’ve interviewed artists, I’ve engaged in the conversation about this medium of storytelling. I hosted the Calgary Theatre Critics’ Awards for 3 years and in the 4 years that I was a member of the panel, I saw approximately 80 productions of theatre and dance in a year.

Then everything changed when I became a mother.

It’s cliché to say, but being a mom is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. The job description changes every month. I’m constantly guessing, always failing, and continually exhausted. There is so much of this role of parenting that falls on my shoulders, especially at the beginning.

Did you know human babies are the most helpless of any species? Compared to other primates, where the babies are born with the capability to regulate their temperature, or walk within hours, or even grasp onto their moms who are on the move, human babies are completely dependent on their parents for everything.

This whole process of having babies is draining, parts of it are traumatic (hello labour!), and mothers then return to their lives with a limited physical and mental capacity because being a mother is rewarding, but it’s work none the less.

The thing that took a hit in my life was theatre. I started picking and choosing productions that I would review. I’ve started attending matinee performances, instead of evening performances. I still go to the theatre, just not 80 productions a year. I try to attend performances by large theatre companies and smaller indie ones and balance theatre I’m interested in, with theatre that deserves a critical review, but I’m not as interested in the content.

I’m on the outskirts of the community. I don’t derive my income from theatre, so I can write about it on the side. I can make choices about my capacity.

That’s not really the case for artists.

“For the amount of money that you make, the difficulty of the schedule and juggling young ones, it’s borderline not worth it. You have to be doing it for the love of it, but you don’t have enough space left to be engaged with the love of it,” said theatre artist Jamie Konchak.

The hours are usually 6 days a week during rehearsal and during tech week, artists are working from noon until midnight. Konchak acknowledges that having time off between contracts is great, but as contractors, artists don’t get to claim EI when they aren’t working. The unpredictability, coupled with the low pay and instability makes being a working parent in theatre really challenging.

Konchak and her partner who is also a theatre artist make it work with the timing and occasionally bring in childcare assistance. They make it work by accepting the lower wages to be able to do the work they love.

It’s a bit different for directors, as they have more agency on their job.

Jenna Rodgers, former Artistic Director of Chromatic Theatre and director in the community, gets to set the schedule of rehearsals and tech week. It allows her to build in a bit of time to see her child.

“There's not a good formal structure in place that allows actors to advocate for what they need. There's a better structure for me, that's also just not perfect. It's not consistent,” Rodgers explains.

But Rodgers was back working weeks after the birth of her child. She struggled to say no to doing work.

“There's fear that if you disappear, [you'll] become irrelevant, especially as a woman,” Rodgers said.

Between instability, lack of opportunities, difficult working hours, and a low wage, Konchak has seen other women exit theatre when they become moms. Or even if they are not mums, they’ve left to be more accessible to their kids and be able to fit into their own lives in a predictable way.

Without artists and creators, theatre is just a building. There is no art, without the artists, Konchak aptly puts it.

Here is the thing, we live in a country that has a declining fertility rate. Women inherently know that there are very real drawbacks financially and to your career, if you decide to have a child, and it’s even harder if you are a theatre artist, never mind if your partner is a working theatre artist as well.

Is our love of theatre enough?